Developmental Editing

  • Developmental Editing, Writing Advice

    10 ways to improve your novel’s pacing

    10 Ways To Increase Your Novel's Pacing.
    10 Ways To Improve Your Novel’s Pacing

    While your novel doesn’t have to gallop along at a fast pace, sometimes storytelling gets bogged down and momentum is lost. Too slow and a reader could just give up. Be vigilant of anything that pulls your pace down. Here are 10 ways to improve your novel’s pacing:

    1. Slow beginnings and world building

    It is perfectly normal to take some time warming up your characters and world when you’re working on an early draft.

    Later, when you have the story down, you can start to work on the beginning and other parts of the novel.

    When writers don’t address their slow beginnings, this leads to plots that take forever to get started.

    But in historical and fantasy fiction there can also be a lot of worldbuilding. I call this scaffolding. You’re erecting the scaffolding that your story will be partly built on.

    Later, once your plot and characters can stand by themselves, you need to take the scaffolding down. Readers don’t need to know everything about the world of the story at the outset.

    The point of the beginning is to hook the reader so they want to read more. Too much info dumping weighs the beginning down and could lead to readers abandoning the novel.

    2. Sagging middles and drawn-out endings

    If there’s nothing much happening in the middle of your novel, your readers will notice. They have reached the halfway point and the pace will be dragging. There is a good chance readers will bail.

    After all, there are plenty of other books out there to tempt them.

    Your midpoint is an important point in your story and you absolutely need to have your readers furiously turning the pages.

    Likewise, a drawn-out ending will kill the pace there. Once all the major plot threads are tied up, there isn’t a reason to carry on. Resolution should be short. You also don’t need to explain the fates of all the characters, particular the more minor characters.

    3. Large block paragraphs

    If you have too many block paragraphs that run on a long time you are forcing your reader into visually tracking one long line after another. This can be tiring for the eye and the sight of a densely packed page can be off-putting for readers. Especially if they’re tired and looking to wind down.

    The visual tracking of one long line after another also means that there are more words on the page and it takes longer to get to the bottom. This might work in some scenes, but beware of where you want your narrative to pick up and move more swiftly.

    If you want your reader to quickly turn the page, it’s best to break your paragraphs up a bit so that the writing flows down the page rather than across.

    There are other issues with paragraphing which I will address in another post. However, paragraphing is something you can focus on when you are polishing your manuscript. You don’t need to worry about it when you’re still getting your story down on paper.

    4. Long sentences

    Long sentences can work well in some places. But if you’re reaching a point of drama and high tension you should aim to break them up more. This helps create a sense of breathlessness.

    Long sentences suggest a leisurely time for contemplation or reflection.

    Short sentences in a dramatic scene suggest urgency and no time to dwell on less important things.

    However, avoid too many short sentences one after the other of a similar length. This can create a monotonous staccato rhythm that will not read well.

    5. Baton passes

    It’s not unusual in a multi-viewpoint narrative to move directly from one POV in a scene to a different perspective in the same scene. There will be a line break to indicate the change of point of view. But in real time, the scene is just flowing on from the end of the last section.

    Baton passes can work well, but if there are too many of them, they can slow the overall pace. Where possible, opt for a jump cut forward in time that propels narrative momentum onwards.

    6. Nothing is happening

    Every chapter in your novel should contribute something to the character and dramatic arc. Each chapter should also propel your story onwards.

    While it might be fun to spend more time with your characters, the plot is ultimately the engine of the story.

    If there’s little plot in chapter after chapter, the pace will drop through the floor.

    This can leave the reader feeling that nothing is happening.

    Dialogue and interaction alone will not drive the plot on. Even amusing characters can only keep your reader’s attention for so long.

    Readers know instinctively that something is wrong with a story when nothing is happening for a while. They have the experience of other novels and films to teach them over time how story structure works. They might not be able to articulate exactly where things should be happening – they just know something is off.

    I recommend KM Weiland’s books on novel structure if you want to dig deeper.

    7. Too many long dialogue scenes

    When dialogue is sparkling it leaps off the page, and the characters are shown off to their full potential.

    Unfortunately, if dialogue goes on too long, it can become more tiring to read. Especially if it’s not important dialogue, and it doesn’t reveal anything or advance the plot.

    Often you can summarise what characters are saying to speed things up and only focus on the most important speech. That also allows the most important parts of a conversation to stand out and not be buried among more mundane chat.

    There will be times when it’s fine to report an entire conversation. Especially if it’s a tense one, or it’s not too long.

    But if you find yourself always reporting full conversations, it’s fine for your early drafts. However, you should go in later and shape these scenes so they move better. Aim to highlight the most important speech and interactions/drama.

    8. Too much backstory

    While you might know a lot about your characters (because it helps you write their story), your readers should really learn about your characters through their actions, choices, thoughts, and words.

    Readers don’t usually need a lot of backstory information.

    It’s fine to include some, and it’s often a good idea to sprinkle it through a scene or story so it doesn’t weigh any particular part down.

    If you weave backstory well through the story, not lingering on it longer than you need to in any one place, you can make it almost invisible at times. The reader gets the information but doesn’t feel bogged down by info dumping.

    Is it possible for longer backstory to work? Yes. Just be careful where you do it – not interrupting a dramatic scene, for example.

    Think about how long the backstory is, how it contributes to that part of the narrative – it might actually work after a more dramatic scene when the characters are catching their breath and reflecting on what has happened or what they’ll do next.

    9. Flashbacks

    One problem with both flashbacks and backstory is that they both look to the past. They don’t drive the present day plot forwards, and therefore don’t contribute as well to forward momentum.

    Does that mean they’re bad? No. It’s a matter of how much and where they are placed.

    Flashbacks can be more dynamic than backstory because you’re taking the reader back into the past directly, like it’s happening now.

    And some plots rely more heavily on the past.

    Nevertheless, if handled badly, too many flashbacks can block forward plot momentum.

    There are exceptions – when flashbacks through the novel build up a picture that explains a mystery in the present. However, that crosses over into multiple timeline storytelling.

    Flashbacks should add something to the story you’re writing. Otherwise, the priority should be to keep things moving forwards where possible.

    10. Watch your word count

    While there is no ideal word count for all novels, each novel probably has an optimal word count range based on how complex the plot is.

    It’s fine to have a 120,000 word novel if there’s plenty going on. It’s not so fine if very little happens.

    The lack of action and plot development will bog the pace down to a near standstill.

    Again, this is not something you need to worry about when you’re first writing your story. With each subsequent draft, you can assess how much can be cut for the benefit of the whole manuscript.

    It’s not always easy to delete scenes you’re fond of, but if you want your novel to be read and enjoyed by others you’ll have to be more ruthless.

    The good news is that while you might miss these scenes in the short term, you usually won’t in the longer term. Especially if you feel your manuscript is stronger for the cuts.

    Looking for feedback on your pacing?

    And if you think your manuscript needs to be checked for pacing and other issues, you can check out my services pages. Pacing is one of the things I look at when I do either a manuscript critique or a full developmental edit.

    If you’re on a budget and you’re interested in an opening chapters developmental edit of your first 10,000 words or your first 15,000 words, then I’ll look at things like too much world building early on, a slow beginning, paragraph blocking, overly long dialogue scenes, and much more. You can contact me at karen@indiecateditorial.com.

    And if you want know more about the differences between a manuscript critique and a developmental edit, you can check my blog post on the subject here:

    Developmental edit or manuscript critique? – IndieCat Editorial

  • Business, Developmental Editing

    IndieCat Editorial Review of 2022

    IndieCat Editorial Review of 2022.
    IndieCat Editorial Review of 2022

    I worked with a few new clients in 2022, plus returning clients. It was great to see all the manuscripts – historical fiction, contemporary, thriller, romance, science fiction, and more. One client I’ve been working with is almost finished their first (six book) series of novels. It’s been a great series to work on. Another client is on to her fourth novel – I worked on her previous trilogy. Both have an amazing commitment to their work in terms of drive and stamina. A third returning client is on to their second cosy mystery novel in a series.

    I also worked with others on their second or third drafts, plus new writers knocked on my editorial door. It was a pleasure to work with all of them.

    I registered with Copy School for a few months and did as many courses as time allowed. I’d already completed Alex Cattoni’s Copy Posse Launch Pad program which is very intensive and quite brilliant.

    Blogging hit a wall last year thanks to a number of factors. I was busy with editing earlier in the year, and then my cat started to get very lethargic by about February or March. The prognosis turned out to be bad and after a few weeks, she passed away. It was a shock, but I decided to adopt another cat within a few months.

    In June I was called up for jury duty and couldn’t get excused even though I was a sole trader with no one else to take on my workload if I got called in. This meant I was reluctant to book in new clients during that period in case I couldn’t deliver their manuscripts in time. As it happened, after phoning the jury line a few days in a row to find out we weren’t getting called in, that was the end of it. But it hit my work momentum.

    After that Microsoft’s updates – possibly their notorious August 2022 update – left my PC very unstable and prone to crashing. Though I managed to meet deadlines, the number of crashes a day meant that I was on the PC longer to get work finished. It was immensely frustrating. I was in the middle of writing up new blog posts which were never finished. Client work obviously took precedence.

    I also took some time to support writers who’ve been subject to the increasingly authoritarian bullies in parts of the publishing industry. The ideological capture is beyond shocking. Children’s publishing is particularly hard hit. I’m lucky in that I work in adult fiction.

    During all this I continued to try and fit in a daily walk since working from home obviously has its downsides in terms of exercise.

    I now have a new laptop and have finished the first developmental edit of the year. I also have the opening chapters of another client’s work to read over. Otherwise, I’m open to new clients. Whether you want a manuscript critique, a beta critique (mini MS critique), an opening chapters developmental edit, or a full developmental edit, you can check my editing services page and browse the options. If you don’t find what you’re looking for or have a custom request, feel free to email me at karen@indiecateditorial.com.

    Prices on the services pages are based mostly on four reads of the manuscript (in a single round of editing). I can adapt to three reads if you’re on more of a budget, or I can focus on the most important issues in your manuscript and ignore the smaller ones.

    Otherwise, I hope anyone who reads this has a great 2023. I know the last few years have been hard for a lot of people.

  • Developmental Editing, Writing Advice

    Should you dust off that old novel?

    Blog image for Should you dust off that old novel?
    Should you dust off that old novel?

    I’m currently analyzing a novel that received very fast agent attention some years ago.

    Later it piqued the interest of literary scouts. There was international interest. But in spite of the initial promise, the novel failed to get an English-language deal. And because of this, the international publishers didn’t take it either.

    The main issue was that it needed a developmental editor.

    A common piece of advice is to ditch a rejected novel and get on with the next one. This is not bad advice in the short term. But it could be a mistake to ditch it forever.

    How to decide if your book is worth saving

    Here are some things to consider:

    • Did the novel show a lot of promise?
    • Have you had positive feedback since on its potential?
    • Do you now have the skillset to address any problems and fix them?
    • Do you want to rewrite the book? (If you don’t, then that’s the end of the matter.)
    • Market trends might also factor into whether it’s time to rework that book
    • Taking a few years out before re-examining the book is also instructive – it’s hard to read your own novel with fresh eyes at the best of times
    • Is this book similar to other books you have written or intend to write? (If it is, that would be a plus.)

    It’s understandable that some books are not worth revisiting.

    But when a huge amount of effort has been invested, as well as research, and the problems can be identified, it seems a shame to close the door on a rewrite.

    After all, revisiting the book is like meeting up with old friends… visiting old haunts. But you also get to meet new people and new places as the new draft takes hold.

    Identify the problems and the solutions

    In the case of this novel, the central issues lie in a problematic triad of structure/location/viewpoint. It’s a classic example of how changing one thing – viewpoint – could actually change the structure of the entire book.

    If the main character is telling the story, the reader can only know what they know and hear things when they hear them.

    This can have a very negative impact on story structure, pushing a lot of twists and revelations towards the latter part of the book.

    And this in turn creates structure and pacing problems.

    This is what happened with the book I’m currently looking at.

    Multiple third-person POVs would make a huge difference, freeing up the narrative. The plot structure would be more balanced. And information, revelations, and so on, more evenly spread through the book.

    If a book has a strong central voice, it might be difficult to let go of it and try something new. But if you really want to give your book a second chance, it will be necessary to change some things.

    This writer intends to rework their book.

    But for other writers in the same boat, the question is, do you want to rescue your novel or not? If you’d rather keep it as it is, and you’re okay with it not being published, then you can leave it. But if you want to publish it, it’s best to look at what can be improved.

    The advantage of returning to an old manuscript

    Here’s the beauty of working on an old manuscript:

    • You know the characters already
    • You know their backstories already
    • You know the locations already
    • You know the plot and subplots already

    So, you don’t have to start from scratch. You already have this information in your head.

    You just need to have the objectivity to know what’s best to keep and what to throw out. Hopefully, your writing skills will have improved enough that you can pull off a good rewrite.

    Never use the old manuscript as a roadmap

    But here’s something to avoid – dusting off your manuscript and using it as the basis of the rewrite.

    What you should really do is read it over and make notes on what works and what doesn’t work. There are things you previously thought were important – maybe you’d happily ditch those things now.

    What is worth keeping? What do you wish you’d done differently?

    Write up a rough plan. Then put the old draft aside and start again.

    Give yourself the freedom to start from scratch. Where you find your enthusiasm flagging, you might have stumbled on something that doesn’t work so well anymore.

    Where your enthusiasm picks up – that’s something worth keeping, or maybe just something new and exciting!

    The thing about tackling an old manuscript is you’ve already done the research and planning. You don’t need to plot the whole thing out again unless you have serious plot holes.

    Maybe the plot is great but it’s let down by the choice of viewpoint or the order of the scenes. Or there’s something off with the structure.

    Or maybe you started your novel in the wrong place and this set off a chain reaction right through the novel. And now you can see how to fix it.

    Not everyone wants to write a lot of novels. Some people would rather write fewer books and spend more time on them.

    One approach is not better than the other. Writers are all just different. This is not a competition.

    Should you dust off that old novel?

    It really comes down to whether you’d want to spend more time with the characters and that world.

    It also depends on the value of the manuscript. If it received positive attention from industry professionals, that might suggest it’s worth revisiting.

    Of course, you could just go down the indie route and publish it yourself.

    But if you want to have another go submitting it to agents, you could put it aside for a while. Even better if it’s been lying around for a few years. The more objectivity you have, the easier you will find it to spot the strengths and weaknesses.

    If you try to rewrite the manuscript by closely following the previous draft, you’re in danger of making the same mistakes again. Because the old draft exerts a certain gravitational pull – where you end up repeating too many things from before.

    In fact, tinkering could actually be harder than throwing out the previous draft (metaphorically) and starting again. Constantly referring to the old draft takes up too much time.

    Open a new file. Here’s your fresh start.

    You know your main plot and characters already. You are free to make any changes you wish. You are free to change the name of your characters, their appearance, and so many other things.

    You can make things better. Use the skills you’ve learned since the last draft.

    This is your second chance.

    Useful links

    If you want to check out my editing services, I offer developmental editing, manuscript critiques, beta reads, and custom reports. If you don’t see the particular custom critique service you’re after, you can email me at: karen@indiecateditorial.com

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  • Developmental Editing, Writing, Writing Advice

    Too much period language in a historical novel?

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    Blog image for 'Too much period language in a historical novel?'
    Too much period language in a historical novel?

    Too much period language in a historical novel?

    I was recently in the mood to read some historical fiction and decided to pick an indie novel. The blurb sounded fun and I looked forward to spending hours and hours in another period. As per usual, I started with a Kindle sample.

    And that’s as far as I got.

    In fact, I didn’t even get to the end of the sample.

    I gave up.

    So, what was the problem? To be honest, there were numerous problems. Some are simply related to the lack of a good editor – or any editor. Because I suspect this book never saw an editor.

    But that was not the biggest issue.

    No, the biggest issue was the language. Or rather, the saturated archaic language meant to evoke the period.

    The problems with syntax, grammar, and shifting tenses only added to the difficult prose.

    So, let’s talk about using period language in historical fiction. What can possibly go wrong? And should you use it? And is there such a thing as too much period language in a historical novel?

    An unfamiliar language

    The biggest issue is that modern readers are simply not familiar with this language. A writer might feel impatient at the unwillingness of modern readers to wade through overtly archaic language. But bear with me…

    For people of a particular period – say, Shakespeare’s time – the language used back then would be clear and transparent. It would not be confusing. It would be their own way of speaking – depending on class and education obviously.

    They would not notice anything strange or elaborate about their way of writing and speaking. It would be the norm.

    It would be as clear and transparent as a pane of glass.

    But, to our modern ears, it sounds like a different form of English… With a higher number of obsolete or strange words. Some words would be recognisable but possibly spelled differently. Or they might now appear in a slightly different form.

    If people from Shakespeare’s time were to teleport to the present and listen to us talk, we too would be hard to understand. Yes, people can acclimatise to speech and new words. But it’s hard work.

    And a novel isn’t meant to be hard work. At least, not when it’s a genre novel.

    But the point I was making above about period language being normal and easily understood within its time is important. When you use modern language, you might think it doesn’t sound right. But using the reader’s language, with some period words sprinkled here and there, is the easiest way to convey the period. (Along with actual descriptions of locations, events, mores, and so on.)

    Because to the people of Shakespeare’s time, their language was normal. It wasn’t a novelty or colourful or rich.

    Therefore, it doesn’t work to replicate the language of that time. Because we can never experience it as anything other than outsiders. Readers are like time travellers. They travel back and they immerse themselves in the period. But if they don’t have the natural language of the period, it’s going to be difficult. They will always be that modern person trying to fit in and never quite succeeding.

    To experience the period more accurately, it’s best to remove as many linguistic barriers as possible.

    Other ways to convey period language

    You don’t need to drop all period language. It’s a matter of density. Overuse makes the story harder to read and a modern writer is never going to write as fluently as a writer from the original period.

    In fact, a modern writer can make a big old mess of period language precisely because they are not and never will be fluent in the language. They don’t use it every day, speak it to their family, think in it, write in it, and hear it from their neighbours.

    A modern writer can unwittingly fall into pastiche or parody.

    It’s far better to read a lot of material from the period and listen to the rhythm of the language. Choose some words to use, but try to make your prose as transparent as possible. You should aim to give a flavour of the period.

    To go beyond that means alienating readers who might otherwise have bought your work.

    The language is the medium through which a story is delivered. So, the question is this – what should the writer’s priority be? Telling the story and introducing the reader to the characters? Or injecting a strong sense of the period through the language? You might try both and do a good job, but it’s a difficult balance.

    Get a good line editor

    If you’re going to attempt to write in the language of the period, you cannot skimp on a good line editor.

    Why?

    Because if you set up one difficult hurdle for the reader – obscure language – you can’t afford to have additional problems with grammar, punctuation, tenses, etc.

    All books will have some errors in them. The fewer the better. However, the more errors there are, the more times readers trip up.

    Here are just some of the problems you don’t want to be mixing in with overtly archaic language:

    • One long and convoluted sentence after another – this not only drags the pace, but it taxes the modern attention span
    • Grammatically incorrect sentences that force the reader to back up and read them again as they try to unpick the meaning (made worse by too much archaic language)
    • Meandering tenses

    I would also suggest being careful with overly long paragraphs. Especially if you have rather a lot of them. They can drag the pace down. They can also be more taxing on the eye, requiring visual scanning across one long line after another. Again, throw in too many strange words on top of this and a modern reader might balk.

    Having said all that, some readers do like a lot of period language – especially if they have some knowledge of the period to start with. But it’s worth considering the downsides and offset some of the cons by ensuring your book is edited well.

    Do you have a historical novel in need of a critique?

    One of my developmental editing services is an opening chapters edit. Contact me for a quote since you can opt for a custom word count. This developmental edit is detailed. It includes an editorial letter, plus track commenting in the margins of your manuscript. I read your manuscript several times, which allows me to dig deeper into the writing, characterisation, and plot. I’m also available for follow-up email feedback. You can email me at karen@indiecateditorial.com.

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    Historical fiction as a time machine

    Review of historical epic, A Place of Greater Safety

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    How to order the stories in a collection

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